A reflection on rest and recovery

Recognizing the Invisible

For the past 2-3 years, I was navigating burnout without recognizing it. The signs were subtle yet persistent: a fatigue that made even lifting my eyebrows feel tiring. While I've never been naturally gifted with good sleep, I found myself falling asleep easily out of sheer exhaustion, what I call "too tired to stay awake." It's a peculiar irony: one of my colleague is visibly happy when I take leave, knowing that rest is essential for my mental health. This reminds me of a conversation another colleague shared about encountering ‘someone’ on a plane who fell asleep in the middle of a conversation.

Advice from the Counsellor

The counsellor offered a crucial insight: constantly operating in "task by task" mode depletes both spiritual and physical well-being. In practical terms, this means living perpetually in "performance mode," a state that elevates stress, diminishes joy, and manifests in tangible health consequences. This resonates deeply with what I've been experiencing.

Understanding rest as sacred practice

Well-being is not a luxury; it is fundamental. We all need rest, yet rest is personal. For some, it's a holiday or quality sleep. Others find restoration in jogging, long walks, having a good meal, or losing themselves in books.

For me, rest takes a unique form: switching between different tasks, moving from work demands to personal hobbies, from external obligations to internal cultivation. Journaling has become my sanctuary. When I write down challenges and analyze them, my mind becomes clear. The act of journalling  transforms mental chaos into clarity.

This Easter: The practice of Reflection

During this Easter holiday, journaling and reflection themselves have become my rest. Reflection is not passive; it is an active form of restoration. My Master's teachings guide this practice:

正念相续，善行不退，福慧双修，法喜常在。 在一切境缘中，常得觉照，吉祥圆满。

In English:

"Maintain continuous mindfulness; persist in wholesome actions; cultivate both merit and wisdom; abide in dharma joy. In all circumstances and conditions, sustain clear awareness and reflect internally, achieving auspicious completeness."

These words remind me that true rest is not escape from life, but presence within it. It's about shifting from mechanical doing to conscious being, from depleting performance to nourishing practice.

Burnout taught me what I was missing. Now, recovery teaches me what truly matters: the integration of body and mind, work and rest, action and reflection, the very essence of 福慧双修 (cultivating both merit and wisdom together).